


Carry On From Despair

by Jessy63



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Episode: s15e20 Carry On Coda, M/M, One Shot, Post-Season/Series 15, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessy63/pseuds/Jessy63
Summary: Sam and Dean discuss Castiel's love confession in episode 18. This picks up where "Carry On" leaves off and gives us that final Destiel scene the writers wouldn't.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 108





	Carry On From Despair

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! This is my first post on AO3 and is mostly just a one-shot I wrote to deal with my frustration with the series finale and how we were once again left hanging with Destiel. I hope you like it!

“Seriously? You had a kid?” Dean asked incredulously, looking at him from the corner of his eye as he continued to drive.

Sam smiled fondly at his brother. It had been decades since he’d seen him, but Dean had not changed a bit. Sam felt like he was forty all over again - of course he also looked like he was forty again, so that probably helped.

“Yeah. His name is Dean.”

Dean’s eyes widened slightly and Sam could see that his brother was touched. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “Well I hope he didn’t turn out to be a total nerd like you. Can’t have him ruining my good name.”

Sam rolled his eyes. Dean had always been good at a lot of things. Dealing with his emotions was never one of them. He looked around at the quiet perfect road they were driving on. “So do we have to like, share a Heaven or something? I thought we just lived in our own world repeating memories.” He asked, giving him an out. 

“Not anymore, Sammy.” Dean replied casually. “Jack and Cas changed Heaven so it’d be open.”

“Wait Cas? He’s here?” Hope began blossoming in Sam’s chest. Maybe he could have it all. His entire family. The happy ending they’d always dreamed of.

Dean shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road. “Dunno. Haven’t seen him.”

Sam stared at Dean in disbelief. “Seriously? Dean, he’s your best friend! How could you have not seen him in 30 years?” 

Dean waved it away. “Time works differently here. It might’ve been thirty years for you but it’s only been three months for me. It’s like the opposite of hell. Kinda crazy right?” 

“No! I mean yes it is, but Dean, three months is still plenty of time to see Cas. Why haven’t you talked to him?”

When Dean didn’t respond, Sam sighed and leaned against the headrest. He certainly hadn’t missed this aspect of his brother - his utter inability to discuss the things that really mattered.

“Before he died, did something happen? Did,” he hesitated, “Did you get into a fight?”

“No.” His brother answered quickly. “No fight.”

“But something did happen.” Sam prodded.

Dean didn’t say anything.

“I’m not an idiot, Dean. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I’ve realized you never really told me how he died.”

Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, he finally replied, “Cas - he told me something. A confession.”

Sam stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. Sometimes the best way to get something out of Dean was to just let him get there himself.

“He - he told me he loved me.” Dean glanced over at him, apprehension in his eyes.

Sam blinked. “Okay.”

“No you don’t understand. He confessed he was _in love_ with me.”

Sam nodded. “I got that. What did you say?”

“Nothing! I hadn’t had time to process. He said it and then the Empty took him. You’re seriously not gonna question the love confession?” Dean asked incredulously.

Sam shrugged. “To be honest, it’s not really a surprise. I mean, Cas literally _fell_ for you. He rebelled against the angels, his own family because you asked him.”

“That was for humanity! And a lot has happened since then.”

Realizing that there was no point in arguing this, Sam continued, “Okay sure. So you haven’t tried to contact him because you don’t know how to let him down?”

“What? No!” Dean pulled over to the side of the road. He sighed and turned to Sam after a moment. “I tried calling him. I prayed to him dozens of times already. He hasn’t responded.”

Sam nodded in understanding. “You think he’s avoiding you. Because he’s not ready to face your answer.”

Dean shrugged.

Eying his brother, Sam asked hesitantly. “So if he did come, how would you respond?”

Dean cleared his throat. “Well that’s really between just the two of us isn’t it?”

“Humor me?” He asked, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean shot him an unimpressed look but answered anyway. “First of all, I would tell him he’s an idiot for getting himself killed for me. Then I would tell him he’s an even bigger idiot for being in love with me.”

“That’s it?”

Dean took a deep breath. “Then I would tell him that I loved him too. Had for years. Probably since the first apocalypse with Lucifer. And I’ve just been too chickenshit to admit it because I never coulda imagined he could actually feel like that for me too. With how he was always leaving and how big an asshole I could be, I kinda figured he could barely stand being around me. But yeah. I would tell him I loved him. Happy now?”

He looked at Sam, uncertainty in his eyes. As if his question wasn’t entirely rhetorical. 

Sam kind of wanted to hit him over the head for thinking he would do anything other than approve. Cas and Dean were his two closest family. If they could be happy together how could he ask for anything else? 

He smiled suddenly, as something caught his attention outside the window. “I would be even happier if you went over there and told him all this to his face.”

Dean’s head whipped up and he turned to follow Sam’s gaze. A hundred feet away stood Castiel under a street lamp. He had his familiar tan trench coat on. Dean was thrown back to ten years ago when he’d seen Cas under a similar street lamp looking at him with what he now realized was love. Huh. He should’ve known. 

That had been the moment he himself had realized he loved Cas. The dorky angel, so goddamn earnest, gripping his shoulder and telling Dean he’d always come when he called. It was such a stark difference from the version he’d seen in that fucked up future with the orgies and amphetamines. Dean remembered thinking that he couldn’t imagine a better world, a better Cas, than the one he had by his side. “Yeah. I think I will.”


End file.
